Fear and Hope

Yesterday remains the worst day ever. That means today was not as bad. We celebrated some victories; last night's procedure has remained effective at stabilizing Evie's vitals. It is amazing to see how much color has returned to her face and how much vitality has returned to her body. This is good.

Defying expectations, Nicole and I actually got a good 6 or 7 hours of sleep last night (after going nearly four days without any). Though going home was hard, we also felt good to refresh ourselves with a shower and some clean clothes. Hurrying back to the hospital, we were greeted with a surprise. Evie has done so well she was extubated, and is breathing well on her own now. Not only are we happy to see her progress, we are now able to see more of her beautiful face. Finally, we are grateful that we've now had a full day to do some processing and we are somewhat less hysterical than Monday.

We are not without much pain and heartbreak. While we are glad for her stabilization, the two days we will wait for the surgery will feel like a lifetime. We also are torn; we look forward to the surgery as it is her only hope for recovery, but we also fear it for the inevitable risk of entering the Operating Room. Its hard not to feel totally messed up inside.

For as terrible as this experience has been, we've been overcome by the love and support from our friends and family all across the globe. Continue to keep Evie in your prayers.

Evie is beautiful. I'm posting some pictures below so you can see how she's enchanted the wonderful nursing staff here in the NICU. These are from Sunday. That marvelous and joyful time feels like ages ago, but with faith we look forward to more coming.